is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Randomize