it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
