I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
