he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize
