dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
