Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
