Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
