It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
