Where is the hickey?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
