Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
