Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
