I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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