he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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