well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize