Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
