got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
