Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Boobs are out for the taking
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
