being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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