he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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