hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
