69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize