I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize