All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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