He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
