jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i believe in u and ur pee
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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