I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
