but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize