So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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