That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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