doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize