your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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