Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
