everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
