hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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