She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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