dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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