is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize