Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
