So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Green mimosas i think yes
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
