My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
