Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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