So drunk its hurt
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
