oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize