i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
