My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Shame - the story of my life.
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