I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
