last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she pinky promised me she was 18
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
