He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You've changed since you got that strap on
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
