this boner is exhausting
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
