Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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