So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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