The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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