I want to stick my p in your. b.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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