"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
