he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
