I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize