i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
