You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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