oh god the rape fog is back!
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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