Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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