Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
