Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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