She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
