I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
