Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
