so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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