You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
