You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize