Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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