lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
